The Importance of Adult Reactions

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Because so much of childhood sexual behavior is normal exploration, an important dimension of learning sexual health as a boy is the reaction of important adults to the sex behavior. In your life, do you remember parents reacting in a positive but direct way when you were publicly touching your penis? Did they calmly teach you, “Touching yourself feels good, doesn’t it, but you should only do this at home, in private.” Or did they react with shock and disgust? “Oh! Don’t ever do that again!” When adults are positive, calm, and clear about sexual boundaries, kids learn healthy messages and boundaries. If this positive approach was your prominent experience growing up, appreciate your parents’ wisdom. If not, it is now your job as a man to develop healthier beliefs, feelings, and behaviors—and to be a sex educator with your own children.